the slant

findesiecle:

Adrienne Rich 5.16.1929 - 3.27.2012
Origins and History of Consciousness
I.Night-life. Letters, journals, bourbonsloshed in the glass. Poems crucified on the wall,dissected, their bird-wings severedlike trophies. No one lives in this roomwithout living through some kind of crisis.No one lives in this roomwithout confronting the whiteness of the wallbehind the poems, planks of books,photographs of dead heroines.Without contemplating last and latethe true nature of poetry. The driveto connect. The dream of a common language.Thinking of lovers, their bind faith, theirexperienced crucifixions,my envy is not simple. I have dreamed of going to bedas walking into clear water ringed by a snowy woodwhite as cold sheets, thinking, I’ll freeze in there.My bare feet are numbed already by the snowbut the wateris mild, I sink and floatlike a warm amphibious animalthat has broken the net, has runthrough fields of snow leaving no print;this water washes off the scent—You are clear nowof the hunter, the trapperthe wardens of the mind—yet the warm animal dreams onof another animalswimming under the snow-flecked surface of the pool,and wakes, and sleeps again.No one sleeps in this room withoutthe dream of a common language.II.It was simple to meet you, simple to take your eyesinto mine, saying: these are eyes I have knownfrom the first…. It was simple to touch youagainst the hacked background, the grain of what wehad been, the choices, years…. It was even simpleto take each other’s lives in our hands, as bodies.What is not simple: to wake from drowningfrom where the ocean beat inside us like an afterbirthinto this common, acute particularitythese two selves who walked half a lifetime untouching—to wake to something deceptively simple: a glasssweated with dew, a ring of the telephone, a screamof someone beaten up far down in the streetcausing each of us to listen to her own inward screamknowing the mind of the mugger and the muggedas any woman must who stands to survive this city,this century, this life…each of us having loved the flesh in its clenched or loosened beautybetter than trees or music (yet loving those tooas if they were flesh—and they are—but the fleshof beings unfathomed as yet in our roughly literal life).III.It’s simple to wake from sleep with a stranger,dress, go out, drink coffee,enter a life again. It isn’t simpleto wake from sleep into the neighborhoodof one neither strange nor familiarwhom we have chosen to trust. Trusting, untrusting,we lowered ourselves into this, let ourselvesdownward hand over hand as on a rope that quiveredover the unsearched…. We did this. Conceivedof each other, conceived each other in a darknesswhich I remember as drenched in light. I want to call this, life.But I can’t call it life until we start to movebeyond this secret circle of firewhere our bodies are giant shadows flung on a wallwhere the night becomes our inner darkness, and sleepslike a dumb beast, head on her paws, in the corner.

findesiecle:

Adrienne Rich
5.16.1929 - 3.27.2012

Origins and History of Consciousness

I.

Night-life. Letters, journals, bourbon
sloshed in the glass. Poems crucified on the wall,
dissected, their bird-wings severed
like trophies. No one lives in this room
without living through some kind of crisis.

No one lives in this room
without confronting the whiteness of the wall
behind the poems, planks of books,
photographs of dead heroines.
Without contemplating last and late
the true nature of poetry. The drive
to connect. The dream of a common language.

Thinking of lovers, their bind faith, their
experienced crucifixions,
my envy is not simple. I have dreamed of going to bed
as walking into clear water ringed by a snowy wood
white as cold sheets, thinking, I’ll freeze in there.
My bare feet are numbed already by the snow
but the water
is mild, I sink and float
like a warm amphibious animal
that has broken the net, has run
through fields of snow leaving no print;
this water washes off the scent—
You are clear now
of the hunter, the trapper
the wardens of the mind—

yet the warm animal dreams on
of another animal
swimming under the snow-flecked surface of the pool,
and wakes, and sleeps again.

No one sleeps in this room without
the dream of a common language.

II.

It was simple to meet you, simple to take your eyes
into mine, saying: these are eyes I have known
from the first…. It was simple to touch you
against the hacked background, the grain of what we
had been, the choices, years…. It was even simple
to take each other’s lives in our hands, as bodies.

What is not simple: to wake from drowning
from where the ocean beat inside us like an afterbirth
into this common, acute particularity
these two selves who walked half a lifetime untouching—
to wake to something deceptively simple: a glass
sweated with dew, a ring of the telephone, a scream
of someone beaten up far down in the street
causing each of us to listen to her own inward scream

knowing the mind of the mugger and the mugged
as any woman must who stands to survive this city,
this century, this life…
each of us having loved the flesh in its clenched or loosened beauty
better than trees or music (yet loving those too
as if they were flesh—and they are—but the flesh
of beings unfathomed as yet in our roughly literal life).

III.

It’s simple to wake from sleep with a stranger,
dress, go out, drink coffee,
enter a life again. It isn’t simple
to wake from sleep into the neighborhood
of one neither strange nor familiar
whom we have chosen to trust. Trusting, untrusting,
we lowered ourselves into this, let ourselves
downward hand over hand as on a rope that quivered
over the unsearched…. We did this. Conceived
of each other, conceived each other in a darkness
which I remember as drenched in light.
I want to call this, life.

But I can’t call it life until we start to move
beyond this secret circle of fire
where our bodies are giant shadows flung on a wall
where the night becomes our inner darkness, and sleeps
like a dumb beast, head on her paws, in the corner.

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